Sunday, 28 August 2011

Europe: a primer

An unintended side-effect of the European project is that it's become a lot easier to compare national politics across between different countries. So, I got on Wikipedia and did that.

Because political parties have to work together in the European Parliament, they gather together in groups or alliances with similar goals.

First, to explain what I did: I looked at the parties in each parliament. Although Europe has slightly more bicameral parliaments that unicameral, it's normally the case that the Upper House is either not elected (as in the UK), or has only ceremonial powers, or is basically the cabinet. In the few examples of equal power, I took the sum of both houses.

Then, I lined them up left to right and colour-coded them according to which group they are part of in the European Parliament. Let's take a look at the picture, then go through the groups.
Click through for a full-sized version

Incidentally, I've used bright colours and bolding for parties in government, and paler colours and italics for parties in Opposition. It has not been a good few years for the Left in Europe.

The PES is the Party of European Socialists. This is where you'll find people like Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, Zapatero of Spain, and Papandreou of Greece. I like to think that most centre and left-wing Democrats, had they been born in Europe instead of America, would probably be in one of these parties.

In Europe, most people take Socialism to mean Social Democracy or Social Capitalism or some other hyphenated form and thus, unlike in America, it is not normally spelled in block capitals with three exclamation marks.

People who do still think of socialism in terms of class-warfare and public ownership of the means of production tend to be part if the United European Left. The "United" is generally a minsnomer (except generally in Cyprus). I've been told that the People's Front of Judea sketch is a satire on the fractious left. That seems plausible- even after the Labour consolidation of the late 90s we in Britain still have the Socialist Party, Socialist Alliance, Socialist Alternative, Socialist Workers Party, Socialist resistance and the Communist Party of Great Britain, not even counting Respect or the various people who just put their trade union down as their party on the application form. This is where you'd find Arthur Scargill and George Galloway. I can;t think of any American examples more recent than Eugene Debs.

The European mainstream centre-Right is represented by the European People's Party. Their background is Christian Democracy. They're actually not that opposed to redistribution of wealth, though they come from a background where the support network means Family and Church, rather than Union and State. They're opposed to things like state recognition of same-sex marriages, and still use phrases like "born out of wedlock". I'd say Americans would call these people family-values conservatives, along with some law-and-order and Patriotic conservatives.

The EPP is where you'll find people like Angela Merkel, Nicolas Sarkozy and Silvio Berlusconi. However, there are no British parties that really fit into it.

The Conservatives left the EPP because a defining feature of the group is that everyone in it is very much in favour of European integration. But then, they don't want to go all the way over into the Freedom and Democracy Group. Why? because the EFD consists of parties whose portfolios are pasted-together articles from the Daily Express (that is, anti-europe conspiracy theories, regular conspiracy theories, and 1950s-style racism).

Incidentally, if the EFD are the people in the pub who you don't really like because you know at some point they're going to say "I'm not racist, but..." then the Non-Iscrits are the people who have already been barred. They are literally the people who no other MEPs are willing to make eye contact with in the corridors.)

So, the Conservatives have got together with parties from Poland the Czech Republic to form the Conservatives and Reformists group. The ECR is basically like the EPP, but wants the EU to be an alliance rather than a federation. You could also draw a distinction that they're more economically right-wing, favouring smaller government. Like the EPP, they're traditional conservatives, though possibly more law-and-order than god-and-family.

The third main group after the PES and the EPP/ECR conservatives is the Liberal group. Like our own Lib Dems, there's actually quite a range within this group. Some members of the group are economically left-wing, but find the Socialists too authoritarian; others are free-marketeers who find the Conservative flag-waving annoying; some are out-and-out Libertarians. In short, it contains Europe's Denis Kuchinich, it's Ron Paul, and it's Michael Bloomberg (though to be fair, it's mostly Bloombergs). Being in the middle, they tend to get into government a lot.

At various points in the political spectrum, you get the Green-European Free Alliance. Annoyingly, they combine Green parties (which is why it's the extreme left box on the UK bar) and regional parties, like the Scottish National Party and Plaid Cymru (both closer, in everything but their desire for independence, to the PES group). I've tried to place those as best I can relative to the other parties in their country.

I'll probably take a few more posts to look at this chart again over the next few days, but for now I'm off to enjoy the bank holiday.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Thailand: A crisis explained through borderline slander

2001
Thaksin Shinawatra. Image by Dave Thompson
Woo, elected Prime Minister. Guess this pan-asian economic downturn wasn't bad news for everyone. Ok, down to business. Rural development plans! Universal healthcare! Credit for the poor! Smash the drug trade!

OK, just don't get too carried away with that last one.

Sorry, can't hear you. Smash smash smash! Also, free hot dogs for all!

Image from AP
Man, this guy is AWESOME.

2005


Listen, you guys totally do not need to worry about this, but I am allowing the Shin corporation to be sold to Singapore tax-free and yes, while this will technically make my family billionaires, I swear it is 100% above-board.

Image from Wikipedia
That is bogus, plus also I heard he once did something that could be construed as mildly disrespectful to the king or something.

Image: AP
WHAT THE HELL, THAKSIN

2006


We're not going to play in this election. You guys always win. The king should just appoint someone to be Prime Minister.

Fine, you big babies, I'll do it on hard mode. Even if I win, I'll resign if I get less than 50% of the electorate. That way, your guys can just stay at home or vote for Nader.

Election results: 66% for Thaksin.

Booyah.

This is bullshit.

I sometimes wish that someone would step up to resolve this regrettable political crisis.

Constitutional Court logo from Wikipedia
Read you loud and clear, daddy-o. That last election doesn't count.

You have to be kidding me.

Image from manager.co.th
Hey, you know what I heard? When Thaksin was in Finland recently he told lots of people that he was going to overthrow the king and make himself king and then he kicked a puppy and said all the things you like are stupid. I heard it from someone in Finland who you wouldn't know, so I wouldn't bother checking.

Yeah, that's obviously true.

Whatever. Listen, I have to go to New York to do some UN stuff, but when I get back, we are totally going to do this election.

Image by Sakchai Lalit
MILITARY COUP!

What?

General Sonthi: Image from The Nation
Military Coup! We're suspending the constitution and dissolving Parliament. Martial law is now in effect. All protests are now banned. All media stories must be approved by us. Thaksin, you and your party are banned from politics. The rest of your government is under arrest.

Uh guys, what do you think you're doing?

PROTECTING DEMOCRACY D:<


King Rama - Image from the Independent
I wish I could do anything other than accept this, but my hands are tied. Would you like to come over to my place for dinner?

Image from Zimbio
This is BULLSHIT.


Image from the BBC
Our work here is done.

Thaksin Shinawarta, please report to jail.

I'd love to, but I'm busy hanging out in the UK, telling everyone I meet about how you guys are dicks.


Sure, why not.

2007-2008




General Surayud Chulanont from Wikipedia
Much as I love being the military-installed token Prime minister, I guess it's time for an election.

Samak Sundarajev, Image by Pornchai Kittiwongsakul
Guys, I totally have a plan. Just cross out "Thaksin Shinawarta and the TRT party" on your banners and replace it with "Samak Sundarajev and the PPP".

Victory for the PPP and the We Don't Support The Exiled Visionary Thaksin Because That Would Be Against The Law, Wink Wink Coalition.

Image from Sky
No way. Not on our watch. PITCH INVASION!

Hey, Samak, you're a TV chef, right?

Well, technically now I'm the prime minister, I mean...

Ha! The constitution forbids the PM from working for anyone else. What if your producer at the TV station told you to hand over the keys to the country, eh? You're out of here!

OK, fine. Somchai, you're the new leader of the PPP.

Image from Flickr
Aren't you Thaksin's brother-in-law?

Image from Wikipedia
I don't see what that has to do with anything.

Image from The Age
STORM PARLIAMENT!


Image from the Mirror
TAKE THE AIRPORT! I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!

Image from AFP/Getty
Gosh, what a mess.

Somchai, your government is dissolved. You can get back into politics in five years. If you're good.

Image by Sakchai Lalit
STORM THE COURTS!

Whoever has the next-biggest party in parliament should form a government.

I guess that's us, suckers.

Image from Al-Jazeera
I get to be prime minister!


2009-10
Image I am having a hard time provenancing
RAAAAGE

Image by Sukree Sukplang
Calm down, or we'll fucking calm you down.
2011
Image from the Independent
OK, Wow. Everyone chill. We'll have some more elections. Alright, so my name is Abhasit Vejjajiva and I'm the Democrat party nominee. My positions are 1) business knows best 2) more help for Bangkok and the south 3) the king is awesome and 4) Thaksin Shinawatra was a real dick and we are all better off now that he's holed up in Dubai updating his MySpace or whatever.

Image from the FT
I'm Yingluck Shinawatra of the Pheu Thai party, and my positions are 1) Government is there to help people 2) The North and countryside have been neglected 3) The king is awesome, but I like it when he sticks to waving and playing the blues 4) YOU'RE the dick, Abhasit

Image from Zimbio
Aren't you Thaksin's sister?

Image from samaw.com
I don't see what that has to do with anything.

The rest of the world: image from NASA
Man, I hope this time will be different.

Image from Time Magazine